Summer has officially started. Break out the coolers and the sunscreen as we leave our consoles at home making a nice little, rectangular-shaped dust free zone on your shelf. Don’t worry about them. They’ll be fine. I’m sure they won’t run amok in your house and burn it to the ground or anything. But just in case, why don’t you try feeding them these titles before you head out to the beach next time.
Happy belated Father’s Day everybody! I hope you enjoyed that tie you just got. I don’t know about you, but now I have something to use as a tourniquet when I shoot up. Of course I’m kidding about that, you narc. Anyways, I’m sure you’re wondering about what wonderful video games have come out this week. Please read on while I look for a clean spoon.
Put down your mouse for just one minute folks. E3 has come upon us once again. Let us sit back and let the gaming goodness slide into our eyeballs unless of course you’d rather play video games. But why? No seriously, look at this list. Why?
I hope you didn’t squander last week’s reprieve in gaming before this week. Honestly, I’d like to see how you’d play anything other than Diablo 3 this week unless of course you’re not into Diablo 3. As a follow up question, do you exist? If you do, I guess the following games might interest you.
Now are you done with Mass Effect 3? Good. You just made it in time for a Japanese Role Playing Game that got so much hype it actually spawned a grassroots movement to get it released on our shores. It really doesn’t matter if the movement had anything to do with it actually getting released here. I only need to know that this once out of reach game is finally in our grasp in mere days.
So the game industry just realized that most of you might still be working on Mass Effect 3, so they’ve throttled back on their releases this week somewhat. Wait, what? You’re done with ME3? I guess that’s what happens when you send messages to the game industry via carrier pigeons.
I know you’re not here looking for something new to play. I know that because unless you don’t have a job or something, you’re still playing Mass Effect 3. Why would you possibly want something else to play while you’ve got that going on? Unless of course you’re one of those extremely rare individuals unaffected by the hype, review scores, and outpouring of love for ME3. Who am I to turn you away?
Mass Effect 3 comes out tomorrow. You can stop reading the rest of this article now. Wait, you’re still here? What’s that? You’re not interested in stopping the Reaper invasion of the galaxy as we know it? Wow, I didn’t realize you exist. In that case by all means read on. Because, ya know, there are other games out there.