Coming Soon! 3/1/2010

Despite the relatively high number of releases this week, it’s pretty much devoid of anything really exciting unless you’re into baseball games or yet another military shooter. It’s a Battlefield game of course so that carries some weight with it, but it barely had any hype. It could be that everyone is basically holding their big guns until after Final Fantasy 13 have come and gone next week. Either that or we’re finally going back to the usual post-holiday doldrums once again. Whatever’s the cause, join me won’t you as we wade through this week’s many, many games.

Remember. Release dates are quite literally made at the whims of the publisher. The following are subject to change without any warning.

Releases To Watch For This Week

Battlefield: Bad Company 2 (Xbox 360, PS3)

Tuesday March 2, 2010

I would start by saying that military shooters are a dime a dozen these days, but then I’d be repeating myself. Before you know it, me saying that stuff are a dime a dozen is itself a dime a dozen these days. Oh boy. Anyways, Battlefield: Bad Company 2 at least is a Battlefield game which automatically makes it worthy of some attention. Like all the other Battlefield games, Bad Company will have plenty of big open battlefields so that you can approach your mission however way you like along with the emphasis on vehicle combat. The main draw of Bad Company 2 though will be the ability to destroy just about anything in the environment. If you’re taking fire in most shooters, the safest bet is usually taking cover behind a wall or something to that effect, but in Bad Company 2, that wall is only temporary cover. Your enemy’s bullets will eventually wear it down, and before you know it, you’re back in the same predicament. Of course, that works both ways. Instead of throwing a grenade around corners hoping to kill your enemies that way, just chuck it at the wall and make yourself a new hole to shoot through. This applies to any multiplayer game as well by the way. This means that lone tank on the middle of map is going to be even more sought after than before seeing how it can literally crash through walls and whatnot. All this talk of blowing up walls is making me want to sledgehammer my walls. Well, maybe I’ll just try the game. It’s probably cheaper that way.

Coming This Week

Tuesday March 2, 2010

Alice in Wonderland: The Movie (Wii, DS)

Oddly enough you don’t play as Alice. Your objective is to protect her with the help of the denizens of Wonderland like the Mad Hatter and the Cheshire cat, but it’s the DS version’s radically different art style that kinda makes it stand out from other movie licensed games. It barely looks like it was supposed to be a movie licensed game.

Major League Baseball 2K10 (ECKM*)

It’s a baseball game. With updated rosters. Unless the game of baseball suddenly has new rules like oufielders gets sniper rifles to gun down runners on 3^rd base trying to steal home, I just can’t find anything new to say about these sports games. Well, okay the career mode, where you create your own player and play only as him through his career, is new to this franchise. Besides that, it looks prettier I guess.

MLB ’10: The Show (PS3, PSP)

New “Movie Maker” mode, the name says it all. Eleven new stadiums. Saved replays of all online matches. Home Run Derby mode. Online season leagues. So tell me, any of this sound all that exciting to you? Honestly, I really don’t know what is and what isn’t with sports games, so pleas tell me!

SpongeBob’s Boating Bash (Wii, DS)

A mascot character is just not a mascot character until it has its own racing game. SpongeBob is finally joining this elite list of mascots and getting his own racing game in SpongeBob’s Boating Bash. You’ll be able to use one of nine characters from the SpongeBob universe and pick different boats, which inexplicably has wheels.

Lips: Party Classics (Xbox 360)

Break out the ear plugs folks. The Lips series have released another pack of songs to sing along to. Sing along to tunes like “Love Shack” by B-52’s or the uber disco classic “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor. I’m just looking forward to finally figuring out the lyrics to “Tubthumping”.

Project Runway (Wii)

Making games out of game shows are one thing, but reality shows? About fashion no less? That’s just baffling to me. How the hell is the game supposed to know that my hideous designs are hideous? If that’s the case, I’m going to design that swan dress that Bjork wore that one time and see what it says. Expect my review in a couple of days!

Deca Sports DS (DS)

How the hell am I suppose to swing my DS and play golf at the same time? This Wii Sports knockoff decided that the DS is much better place to make a mini-game collection of sports games. It has golf, ping pong, wall climbing, bobsledding, rugby, and other not so usual sports like arm wrestling and cheerleading, but this has got to be the first time EVER that somebody decided to make a virtual version of Sepak Takraw. Progress at last!

Imagine: Sweet 16 (DS)

When I was 16, I was a Sophomore in high school, not getting laid, acted in a bunch of plays, not getting laid, discovered music, not getting laid, and oh right not getting laid. So why do I want to relive my 16 year old self again? This sweet 16 party simulator is so out of touch with reality, it’s not even funny.

Sonic Classic Collection (DS)

Including all 4 original Sonic games from the Genesis — Sonic the Hedgehog, Sonic the Hedgehog 2, Sonic the Hedgehog 3, Sonic & Knuckles — this game should remind us why Sonic was at least as relevant as it was, and teach the new generation of gamers just how good they have it now. “See kids! Back then we didn’t need no 3D. 2D is plenty of Ds for us old folks!”

Battle of Giants: Mutant Insects (DS)

I had a feeling this “Battle of Giants” thing would be an ongoing series. This time, you get to control giant insects and have them battle each other. I can’t wait till you get to control giant robots from outer space!

Hidden Mysteries: Buckingham Palace – Secrets of Kings & Queens (DS)

Speaking of ongoing series, the last one took you through the Titanic. Now Buckingham Palace is up next for some exploration and puzzle solving. I’m just waiting until they make “Hidden Mysteries: Kiki’s Gentlemen’s Club – Secrets of the Stripper Poles”.

Windy x Windam (DS)

Fighting games aren’t exactly all that good of a match for the DS don’t you think? Yet, here we are with a DS fighting game. All I know is that Izuna, of Izuna: Legend of the Unemployed Ninja fame, along with Shino, also from the same game, is in it. All I want to know is how the hell do I plug in my fighting stick into the DS?

Dream Chronicles (DS)

I really should try out one of these adventure games one of these days. This one has you looking for your husband while trying to break a sleeping curse that has taken over the town. It’s only $20, so what the hell is stopping me?

Thursday March 4, 2010

Shepherd’s Crossing (PSP)

Most games have you playing the fun parts of the game’s timeline. This one has you playing the boring parts. After traveling around the world, you decided to settle down in an abandoned farm. Since you’ve got all this farm stuff, you decided to become a farmer. I’m just waiting for the part where the plants come to life and revolt against you while you have to fight them off with fire. No such luck here.

LTTP

• Lunar: Silver Star Harmony (PSP)

I think I’m going to save myself for the madness that will be Final Fantasy 13 next week, so this week, more digging through the Pile of Shame. As for you guys, anything here interest you?

P.S. I’m just kidding about that review for Project Runway by the way. I hope I didn’t shatter anybody’s hopes for it.

* = Every Console Known to Man